What to do if you squirm at photos of yourself (why it's important to challenge that!)

 

Do you make a lunge behind the sofa when a camera comes out? Always manage to artfully duck behind the nearest object or tall person when it’s time for group photos? It’s common for adults to not like having their photos taken, but have you ever wondered at what cost? If there are no photos of you, what will people have to remember you by, especially your nearest loved ones?

Maybe it’s time to examine this fear, and choose to brave the camera next time. Not for yourself… but for the children.

I am a portrait photographer in Truro, Cornwall and I love bringing mums out of the shadows and into pictures that they absolutely love, for their kids to treasure later.

“I don’t like being in photos”

I hear this all the time, especially from mums.

That would be fine, except that it often means we are always found hiding behind the camera, and are highly skilled at wriggling away when one is pointed in our general direction.

Why is this a problem though? Surely the world can manage without pictures of us in them.

Yes, that is true - very few people will notice our absence from photos, or think much of it.

But there are some humans for whom a few photos of us would be highly prized possessions. Possibly the most treasured keepsake they have.

I hear you brush aside the sentiment, laughing it off and changing the subject. But really, let’s sit in the discomfort for a minute and think about what that means.

Your face is a treasure

One day you will be gone. You don’t know what day that will be.

Life lived without this in mind is going to be full of regret so I like to keep the fact pretty fresh and in sight, to remind me about what is important.

And what is important to me, more than anything right now, are my kids. My family. The people who I love and who love me.

If you’ve lost someone close to you, you’ll know how important photos of them become. If you come across an old photo or a Facebook memory pops up, it can feel like a precious treasure has just been stumbled upon.

Imagine your kids when you go, feeling like that. Put yourself in their shoes.

You know it’s silly to think they would look at your picture and want to point out your flaws, or criticize anything. Of course they wouldn’t! They’d feel happy to look at the beautiful face they love and remember you.

Future proofing

Making sure that you do get in the photo occasionally is really thinking long term, and giving them a gift in the future. I am sure that you can handle some internal cringing for the sake of them having those images after you’ve gone, if it will bring them the slightest joy or comfort.

Getting over it

Once you’ve decided to not hightail it every time a photo is being taken of you, there are ways you can be proactive to feel a little less uncomfortable in front of the camera.

Here are a few things you can do for starters:

  1. Practice self-compassion: Remember that everyone has insecurities, and it's okay to feel uncomfortable or critical of your appearance. Be kind to yourself and try to reframe your thoughts in a more positive way.

  2. Identify what you don't like: Think about what specifically bothers you about photos of yourself. Is it your smile, your posture, or something else? Understanding what you don't like can help you address it.

  3. Work on your confidence: Building your self-confidence can help you feel more comfortable in front of the camera. Practice self-care, engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, and surround yourself with positive people who support you.

  4. Practice posing and facial expressions: Experiment with different poses and facial expressions in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend. You might find that certain angles or expressions are more flattering.

  5. Find a photographer you trust: Look for a photographer who specializes in portraits and who makes you feel comfortable. Communicate your concerns and preferences, and work together to create a photoshoot that suits your style and personality.

Remember that photos are just one way to capture memories and document your life. You don't have to love every photo of yourself, but try to focus on the positive moments and memories that the photos represent.

Jemma, mum of 2 (Kernow Baby Spa)

Booking a professional photoshoot is a massively confidence-boosting way to overcome some of your fears and get some pictures of yourself that you actually LOVE.

I would highly recommend doing this at least once in your life. You might hate photos of yourself because you’ve never had one done properly (amazing what a difference lighting, posing and angles can make!!).

I promise, it can make you see yourself in such a different light once you’ve had a professional portrait session. And this I can most definitely help you with.

I am so, so delighted with the images Michelle has captured. At first I hesitated. But knowing how calming and patient she is I decided to push out of my comfort zone and go for it! Being treated to having my make up professionally done was just fantastic, and really made the experience of the whole afternoon extra special.
Entering the studio I immediately felt calm and safe. I am certainly not one for “enjoying” having my photo taken - but in this case I LOVED it! By the end, I felt so relaxed and in the zone.
Once the images were ready for me to view, this was again done brilliantly - a cinema-style experience! Picking my favourites was certainliy a challenge, but once done I can safely say that the results are FANTASTIC. I couldn’t stop looking at them. Thank you Michelle for such a lovely, empowering and enjoyable experience.
— Jemma Hoare, Kernow Baby Spa

To book or enquire about a confidence boosting session for mums, get in touch - I’d love to learn more.